I am Gina a Golden Labrador, a guide dog for a master who cannot see
We have been together seven years and been as happy as can be.
Sometimes he has to leave me to enter swimming competitions
He is a wonderfully confident swimmer and has no inhibitions.
I must tell you he has won a silver medal and received the M.B.E.
And as he is my friend and master I’m as proud as proud can be.
I am sometimes left with a work colleague when my master goes away
I settle down and as I am so well trained I don’t run about and play.
Titbits must not distract me but I am allowed a very small chew
I like to wander round sniffing though especially somewhere new
I lie down on the floor with a young girl who tickles me on the belly
Oh boy! What a blissful feeling that is I go just like wobbly jelly.
I think I will soon be retired now because my own eyes are getting dim
And I hope my master will get another good dog to look after him
They will find a good family to care for me and quite contented I will be
I think that perhaps I will be ending my days with someone guiding me.
I was spotted in a shop window by a little lad who dearly wanted a pet
His mum said, “Let’s take it because it’s the last chance that you’ll get”
I think she was fed up with him when he kept on changing his mind
And as they were both so tired, I was the best pet they could find.
So I was taken home with them where they would look after me
To a lovely hutch in a garden where I could look out and see
A lot of grass and flowers and loads of tempting carrot tops too
I was dying to get out to smell it all and have a really good chew.
After a while they let me out to explore and have a good hop round
When I spotted a big fat doe, or so I thought, sitting on the ground
I climbed on her and rolled straight off, I just could not get a grip
Three times I tried, but each time I fell off, I felt a proper drip.
I was only trying to woo her, but I did not have much luck
And I heard the dad shout out “It wants lessons from a buck”
I didn’t know what he was talking about and then I heard him call
“Just come and look at this daft rabbit, it is trying to court a ball”
The family were laughing at my antics and said that they would go
In the car to the nearest pet shop to see if they could get me a doe.
I have a girlfriend living with me now but that’s not the end you see
The next day they found she was pregnant and it is definitely not by me.
I am Scamp a scruffy long haired rescue dog of an unbeknown breed
But a young couple took pity on me and they are very good indeed,
They look after me very well and I have a lovely comfortable bed
They take me for long walks and play ball and make sure I’m well fed.
They took me to the vets so that I could have my parvo injection
And a poor cat yowled as it lay in its box with an eye infection,
There was Freddie the ferret foraging inside its dad’s topcoat
And a little girl holding a bowl trying to keep her fish afloat,
A nervous Yorkshire Terrier sat trembling on its owner’s knee
And a bald headed budgie sitting on its perch as quiet as it could be.
As I looked round at this motley crowd I heard a little boy shout
“Ooh mum! Its gone I’ve lost me spider I think it must have fell out”
And as the lad was on his hands and knees crawling round the floor
Everyone was ready to do a mass exodus through the nearest door.
The lady nursing the Yorkshire Terrier jumped up off her chair
The cat stopped its yowling and gave us all an evil one-eyed glare,
Freddie the ferret stopped its foraging and fell on to his master’s lap
The budgie squawked because the noise had disturbed his little nap
During all this commotion the vet came out and shouted “Next please”
As he noticed the little boy crawling about on his hands and knees,
“Have you lost something?” the vet said looking at the little boy
“Yes I’ve lost my spider and it is my favourite wind up toy”.
A sigh of relief from everyone as they all joined in the search
Even the budgie got excited as he jumped about on its perch.
Never mind it brightened the day and certainly broke the ice
Because they all started to chat together which made it very nice.