Years ago when I was young we had a “ Bobby” on the beat
Your heart would jump if you had done wrong when you heard his feet,
“Now then you lot what are you up to? Get yourselves out of here
Before I give every one of you a good clip round the ear”
Hiding evidence of our scrumping our eyes wide with fright
We would run as fast as we could ducking well out of sight.
If we were caught the second time he would have no hesitation
In frog-marching us down the street to the copper station.
Our P.C was a kindly man who everyone knew and respected
And if any one stepped out of line he did what was expected.
Today if petty criminals are copped it is all paperwork and courts
Taxpayer’s footing overlarge bills to give them a sentence of sorts,
Like sending the culprit on holiday or doing community work
It seems the more unruly they are the better is the perk.
So bring back the “Bobby” on the beat to keep the yobs in line
If our streets were much safer then everything would be fine.
Grass was for animals to graze on or what we call a lawn
But now it’s a name for deadly drugs or a coppers pawn.
Chip was something that you ate which you had to fry
Now its something minuscule called an electronic eye.
Coke was once for fires to keep you nice and warm
Now it’s a fizzy drink that can sometimes do harm.
A garage was a building to house the family car
Now its thumping music not the very best by far.
A big mac was a raincoat to keep you warm and dry
Now it’s a meaty hamburger everyone wants to try.
Gay was once a word that meaning cheerful and glad
Now a name for someone who’s hormones have gone mad.
A joint and pot was we used for our everyday lunch
Now it’s smoked by junkies a very gruesome bunch.
To be cool meant you were neither hot nor cold
Now it means great or fantastic so I have been told.
So wearing a big mac and eating a chip can be quite confusing
And some pictures that spring to mind can be very amusing.
What a different world it is today compared to long ago
And I am thankful to clever people for help making it so.
It was washboards, mangles and elbow grease to do the weekly wash
And when I had my first washing machine I really felt quite posh.
It used to be a line of white nappies blowing in the breeze
Now it is disposable napkins to be binned wherever you please,
Not forgetting the starching and ironing that took all ruddy day
God Bless the tumble dryers they have taken the hard work away.
A once a week soak in a tin bath that was brought in from the yard
Now it’s a hot bath or a shower; times past were really hard.
No central heating when I was young just chilblains and a thick sweater
I must admit now I am cosy and warm, life is very much better.
I used to put loads of dinky curlers in my hair every night
A mobile hairdresser comes weekly now, I don’t look such a fright
We had coupons for clothes and had to make do and mend
Now when I am fed up with my gear, to a charity I send.
I used to get on my knees to polish my living room floor
Now it is fully carpeted and the cleaner does the chore.
The good old days were not so good in many more ways than one
Now life to me is a doddle and certainly much more fun.